How I Am Tackling Low Mood

Hello Autumn and Hello Blues

In my last post, I spoke of a bout of depression/low mood I’ve sunk into lately and many people came back to me expressing that either they or those around them have also been feeling the same.

Maybe it’s the change in weather, it’s perhaps the worsening geopolitical landscape that paints a dark picture of suffering outside our window; maybe we’re burnt out from a year of work, or maybe we’re dealing with some unhealed relationship wounds.

For me, it’s a bit of everything.

One thing I didn’t get into in the article was how I am tackling this. I take medication for low mood, anxiety & OCD which helps, but I’m resistant to taking a higher does (I explained why in the post). That leaves me with a toolbox of tips & tricks I’ve developed over the years to tackle bouts like these.

Now of course, tackling depression isn’t easy. The UK’s National Health Service outlines an long list of depression symptoms that include: Continuous low moods & feelings of sadness. Feeling hopeless, having low self-esteem, feeling tearful & guilt-ridden; irritable and intolerant to others. Having no motivation or interest in previously interesting hobbies and difficulty making decisions.

Bouts of depression and low mood truly feel like an all-encompassing phenomenon. When we’re in its throws it can paint our life a greyish colour as all areas of our psyche and lives become impacted.

So today we’re going to look under the hood at my depression tool box as I look to dig myself out of this hole. After a realisation last weekend that my mood was worsening, I’ve taken the following steps to halt the fall.

To note, if you are reading this and your symptoms are worsening or you are suffering with suicidal ideation, seek help from your GP and/or therapist. I am not a doctor. I also understand that some experiences of depression can truly be debilitating. I will refer to my current experience as a bout of “low mood” as I am coping. Also, this is just me speaking from personal experience of what has and does help me. Take what you will from it.

1. Acceptance

Before I came to realise I was dealing with a bout of low mood, I spent a week on holiday in resistance to how I was feeling.

I was pushing against the fact I was feeling low, becoming more and more frustrated that I was feeling the way I was.

This wasn’t helpful, as it only added additional strain to how I was feeling. As Carl Jung once said, “What we resist persists”, and in resisting my low mood, I was falling deeper and deeper into the hole that had been made for me. When we resist our pain, we turn it into suffering.

Acceptance allows us to take a step back and see our current circumstances for what it is. This is important, albeit difficult, because it’s natural to feel frustrated that we aren’t where we want to be. Our brains love to control, but in this instance, it’s best to admit we may not be feeling our best.

Some people wait until their pain becomes so great that they can’t ignore it. They reach a point of debilitation, or the Universe brings them other problems — like work or relationship issues.

Try and not be that person. Humans love to avoid problems. We’d rather find other, more immediately fulfilling things to do (coping mechanisms) but the sooner we can accept where we are, the quicker we can act.

2. Self-Auditing & Self-Responsibility

We can’t always control the reasons why we’re feeling depressed or low. Someone may hurt us, a relationship may end, we might get fired, or we may be dealing with and processing trauma, the causes are endless and unique to us. We may not have an obvious reason, either, as is the case for many.

Whatever the reason, when we begin to suffer from the long list of symptoms listed above, we can begin feeling powerless — hence helplessness being a key symptom.

The difficulty with depression/low mood is that it fools us into believing we lack agency in our lives. We begin to believe there’s nothing we can do and even if want to do something, we may not feel like taking action. We’re demotivated.

I’m not a believer that we are powerless, however. Even if we don’t feel like it, I like to think we can help ourselves in many cases. For me, this looked like taking some responsibility for the way I was feeling. We may feel like we are powerless but in my case, I could see many ways in which I was reinforcing my low mood.

For example, last weekend I took a reflective look at how I’d been managing my time and there were several things I was doing that weren’t serving me:

• I was napping every time I felt demotivated. This only made me feel worse afterwards and reinforced the idea that I had to dissociate when things got stressful.

• I was neglecting self-care activities like writing, going to yoga & meditation. “I just don’t feel like doing that”, I’d say, “I’ll go to the class next time”. It’s safe to say I didn’t.

• I was actively choosing to ruminate on past mistakes. It can be extremely tempting to ruminate but the more we do it the stronger the habit becomes. By the end of my holiday I was stuck in my head.

• I was allowing my inner critic to dictate my day. Uninterrupted, I was allowing my pessimistic view point to poison my days.

• I was choosing to drink & party as a way to soothe myself. Obviously, I felt worse thereafter.

• I was spending countless hours on my phone, with no real productivity. 6 hours a day on my phone, and not much to show for it.

I’d go to sleep hoping the next day I’d feel better, but with days filled with the above actions, it’s no wonder I was only feeling worse.

How we act matters.

3. Slow but Steady Change

Coming into this week it was important for me to begin letting go of some of the above behaviours and replacing them with better ones.

For example, I worked from home on Wednesday and felt the all-too-familiar desire to take a nap over lunchtime, but I know, despite how good napping feels, that I often feel worse afterwards. I’m unproductive in the afternoons, my mood feels weird, and I can get lazy.

So instead, I cleaned out some of the cupboards in my room of old stuff. I haven’t de-cluttered my room in the year and a half I’ve lived here and it made me feel better. Studies have shown that decluttering can help aid mental health and feelings of worthiness. A clean space is a happy space, as they say, and I did feel better afterwards.

This is just one example of something I’ve done to help myself. Other things include bringing back my morning and evening meditation routine, which has helped with my overthinking. I’m not vaping anymore, which has been a challenge coming off nicotine, but a good one so far.

I’m writing again, and enjoying it, and I’m trying my best to embrace each day, rather than go into them with the pessimistic thoughts I’d got myself into a habit of. I even went to the shop the other day to buy myself a new gym top to motivate me — a small self-care treat in contrast to the money I was spending on nights out and alcohol.

We are constantly moving through a cycle of thinking, feeling, & choosing and it’s with these 3 things that our reality is created (this is a CBT framework). How we move through this cycle: the thoughts we engage in, the feelings we choose to listen to/not listen to, and the actions we take, all reinforce and influence one another. If we target either our thoughts, feelings or actions, we will hopefully notice a positive change.

On the subject of feelings, I’ve been keeping an eye out for “good feelings” like happiness, joy & satisfaction as I move through my day. Depression can make us forget what it feels like to be alive. Look out for glimmers of light in your day. Hold onto them, recognise what has led to them, and work to expand them.

That’s all for today’s article. I hope you found some value in it. Feel free to let me know your thoughts below and I’ll see you next time.