Dreaming Big but Struggling To Take Action? 3 Tips for Growth
This is for the Daydreamer & Procrastinator
This is for the Daydreamer & Procrastinator
If you’re reading this then you’re likely a big thinker. You have goals you want to reach and a version of yourself you want to materialise.
That is all great. Some people don’t know the first thing about who they are or who they want to do, so it’s good to have dreams and goals — if this is you, you’re already on the right track.
However, I extend a word of caution to you if you are one of these big thinkers:
Visualising our higher self becomes a fantasy when we aren’t taking the necessary steps to work towards our goals. In this, our visualisations turn into daydreams that do little to motivate us, only reminders of a reality we don’t have.
Keep reading if you’re struggling to take action in the face of big, lofty goals.
When Daydreams Demotivate Us
The interesting thing about our brain is that it doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is thought. When we visualise/daydream our goals we trick our brain into thinking that we have already reached them.
For example, recognise how good you feel when you imagine your higher-self. When I imagine my higher self: A coach in line with his authentic passions, I feel great. I feel empowered, aligned, and satisfied — but only momentarily.
Then I snap back to reality and realise that my goals haven’t materialised yet and there’s work to be done.
Sometimes this can motivate me but sometimes it doesn’t, and I struggle to do the work I need to do to be the person I want to be. This usually happens when I’m daydreaming too much and I’m not taking action.
When visualising our goals outweighs taking action we risk feeling stuck. So long as we aren’t taking action, our goals will feel less and less attainable — because we’re not acting like they’re achieveable! This can lead to a desire to daydream more to escape our dissatisfaction, and the cycle continues.
So, what do we do when we find ourselves stuck, unable to find the motivation to work, struck in daydreams about who we want to be and where we want go?
What do we do when we’re daydreaming too much and can’t get started?
Here are some tips:
1. Gateway Habits
Having not been as productive as I’d like recently but daydreaming more and more about my goals, I’ve felt less and less motivated to put in the work. I’m thinking so big that writing a blog post or recording a video feels like an effort I’d rather not do (I’d rather lie on my bed and feel good visualising my higher self, instead).
Gateway habits are good ways to get going when completing a larger task feels effortful. Termed by James Clear in his book Atomic Habits, gateway habits are the small actions we can take just to get started.
So, rather than think about the fact you need to complete a blog post (or several), just commit to sitting at your desk and opening your laptop. Once you’ve done that, just commit to opening your writing application/webpage — or if you’re feeling uninspired, write a topic of interest into google and see where your research takes you.
Small steps like these get us going, and you’ll be amazed at how motivation and inspiration slowly seeps in. When we’re thinking too large, or we;re focusing on the stressful parts of doing the work, we stop ourselves before we even get a chance to get going.
I love writing, but it doesn’t mean writing comes easy or that I feel inspired all the time.
I have to give myself a push, and gateway habits help me do just that.
2. Limit The Daydreams
Did you know daydreams can be addictive? Because our daydreams/visualisations can act as an escape from a reality we’re not satisfied with, they may become maladaptive (termed maladaptive daydreaming).
Like I said, it’s great to have a vision of who you want to be but our higher-self becomes a fantasy when we aren’t taking action.
To combat this, try and limit you your daydreaming/visualisations to set-times.
For example, I have a visualisation practice that I do where I lie on my bed with my favourite music on and visualise my goals. I use this time to get in touch with my higher self but if I do this too much or too often, I can slip into addictive cycles where I do less work and daydream more.
Be conscious of when you’re daydreaming and if your productivty ratio is skewed more towards visualising vs action. If you’re not taking action, then it’s time to reevaluate how you’re spending your time, and what barriers might be stopping you from moving forward.
Your higher self won’t go anywhere if you daydream less, don’t worry, but your goals will begin to feel unattainable if you’re not taking action (even though, ironically, you’re closer than ever to them in your mind).
3. Practice Present-Moment Acceptance
Our brains work on a pleasure-pain principal. This means when we’re dissatisfied or experiencing other mental/physical pain we’ll experience desire to find pleasureable solutions.
If we’re big thinkers and highly imaginative (as creatives tend to be) this may mean turning to daydreams as an escape. Daydreaming can be satisfying in the short-term but dissatisfying in the long-run.
Our brains think, “Why spent time in reality when I can spend time thinking about my goals?” or “Why think about who I am right now when I can imagine who I’ll be when I achieve XYC?”.
It’s a simple thought, but our pleasure-pain mechanism is simple: Pain drives pleasure-seeking, which means our daydreams can become addictive, if we’re using them to cope or escape (see, maladaptive daydreaming).
Whilst it can be difficult to like your current moment if you hate your job, or dislike something you’ve done, this doesn’t mean you can’t practice acceptance.
Acceptance does NOT mean settling or having to like your current reality (though it may be good reframing some of your judgements: Is life really that bad?). As Eckhart Tolle says,
“Acceptance means: For now, this is what this situation, this moment, requires me to do, and so I do it willingly.” — Eckhart Tolle.
That being said, acceptance can lead to settling when we gaslight ourselves by saying we’ll take action and then never getting started — so make sure you’re taking action!
When we aren’t taking action, our dreams feel further away, which can create frustration and conflict in the now. As we start taking action we’ll find it easier to practice acceptance — because we’re doing something about the reality we’re not happy with!
See how that works? We build momentum and as we get started (maybe through using gateaway habits), we’ll start to feel like we’re on the right track — because we are.
To summarise:
Having awareness of who you want to be is a great first step to change, but we have to captilise on this awareness to truly transform and that means taking action.
Be aware of where your daydreaming habit is stopping you from attaining your goals.
Be aware of the desire you might have to daydream over taking action.
Limit the daydreaming/visualising to set times in your day. Treat it like a practice, and not a coping mechanism (though it’s ok to indulge here and there when you need a reminder of your higher self).
Utilise gateway habits to take action when you feel a task too stressful/daunting. Small steps can lead to big results.
If you’re feeling frustrated with where you are, try practicing present-moment acceptance to free up some of your mental energy.