I’m going through some big changes at the moment.
I’m in the process of taking a leap of faith to fulfill a dream of mine: to leave my day job and home of five years to travel and invest in my creativity.
It’s something I’ve daydreamed and fantasized about for years.
I have a deep fear of self-expression, and in my daydreams, I imagine myself fully expressed: I am a writer, I feel comfortable expressing my thoughts, I have an Instagram account where I post whatever I want, unafraid of people’s judgment. I restart my YouTube and TikTok pages and exercise my voice again. I feel connected with myself, and as a result, I connect more deeply and authentically with others.
I’ll think about this alternate life right before bed, or when I’m wandering around town, or when I’m listening to music on the train.
Whenever I’ve got the time to drop into a daydream, I’ll do it.
It feels good to daydream, but these are just dreams and the closer I get to actualising them, the more nervous and doubtful I become.
Is this all make-believe? Can I trust this is who I want or need to be? Can I let go of the stability I have now?
Managing this psychic conflict is crucial if you hope to turn your daydreams into a reality — and it’s what I’m attempting to do right now.
Your Daydreams As A Safe Space
Feeling pulled between two impulses — to follow my dream, or retreat to safety- my therapist prompted me to try a visualisation exercise during our last session.
We started with some deep breaths. She asked me to imagine myself at the airport, a ticket in my hand, ready to board the plane to my new life. In this not-too-far-away imaginary world, I’ve left my job, I’ve said my goodbyes, and the ties to my old life have been severed.
Perfect, I remember thinking. I can do this — it’s what I always do.
Only, aware she was watching me, I couldn’t relax into it. I began to criticise myself and when she asked how I felt, I started crying.
It wasn’t because I didn’t like the idea of going, it was because someone had impeached on a practice that had been mine and mine alone.
It dawned on me in that moment how secretive my daydreams and all their contents are to me.
They’re the safe spaces for me to express myself, away from the fears of judgment and rejection that stop me in reality. The moment I try to actualise them or I feel I’m being watched, my anxiety levels skyrocket and self-doubt ensues.
Managing Daydream Doubt: “I Don’t Believe My Dreams Can Be Real”
I guess a part of me believes these daydreams are just that, dreams.
This part — the anxious one — thinks I have impossibly high standards. It says I can’t actualise my desire and I’m a fool for thinking I can try — better off to keep those dreams as a source of escapism.
I know these aren’t rational thoughts, but I say them to illustrate how my fear manifests.
When fear strikes and I doubt my dreams, I’ve been reminding myself of Carl Jung’s concept of psychological compensation. In Jungian psychology, it’s believed that our dreams (literal dreams or daydreams) serve a function for counteracting a predominant attitude of ours.
For example, if a fear of self-expression rules your everyday (like mine does), your daydreams may present you with realities where fear is not an obstacle and your whole self reigns supreme.
By bringing our daydreams to awareness, we can analyse them for common themes and messages. The same goes for our night-dreams. If we can view these visions as signs that our psyche is searching for wholeness, we can better reason against our anxiety and self-doubt when pursuing change.
This process, of following our dreams and overcoming fear, sets us on a path that Jung termed “Individuation”. Fear and doubt are part of the change process. It’s a sign our sense of self is expanding beyond the structures it grew to keep us safe.
Next time you doubt your dreams, remember this.
You know what it is you want, and your dreams are signaling what you need to do.
You can do this.
Thank you for reading!
Good luck and enjoy the new chapter you are beginning in your life !!